How to Find Inner Strength While Traveling as a Solo Woman

Article and photos by Beth Whitman

Paradise on the Kerala Coast.

For more than 15 years I had been an independent, mostly solo, globetrotter. I had ridden my motorcycle solo from Seattle to Panama; driven my jeep to Alaska from the lower 48; and backpacked around the Pacific Rim countries for a year. I like to think of myself as a seasoned traveler.

But, after years of living and traveling with my significant other, Jon, I learned that slipping back into the devil-may-care existence of solo travel was not as easy as I had anticipated.

Oh No, Solo!

I planned a solo trip. No, I did not just decide to jet off to Europe for a few weeks or lie on a beach in Mexico at an all-inclusive resort. I planned a 1-month trip to India.

Despite the guilt of leaving Jon behind while I traversed the subcontinent on my own, I was really looking forward to the adventure. After all, I had written a book on traveling solo. I knew exactly what I was doing, right?

I prepared myself by reading all the guides on India, taking copious notes about where to stay, the best sights to see in each city and how to best get from one place to the next. I even joined Servas so that I could meet and stay with some locals. I forgot about all of India’s own idiosyncrasies, however.

After less than a week, I had been pursued by the most aggressive of India’s touts in Varanasi, dodged a kiss from a shopkeeper, contracted a sinus infection in Darjeeling and lost my first week’s worth of digital images after my Indian-made SD card died.

My antidote was to fly to Kerala. India’s southernmost state includes some of the most beautiful coastline in the world. Based upon the photos in my guidebook, I was assured beach time, fresh air and relaxation after having just traipsed through Delhi, Varanasi, Darjeeling, and Kolkatta.

Location Location Location

I stayed at a perfectly priced ($12 U.S.) bungalow near the cliffside village of Varkala. Palm trees swayed with the ocean breeze as the sun beat down from a consistently cloudless sky. Fresh fruit juices and just-caught fish were at my disposal. Most people would have considered this to be paradise.

I know this because I was surrounded by loving couples snuggling by the pool and European parents frolicking with their kids in tow.

Me? I blew my nose (because of my sinus infection), listened to my iPod, and eagerly read every international newspaper I could find.

One night, as I drifted off to sleep, I could hear voices in my head of foreigners and Indians speaking heavily accented English. It was as if I was hallucinating. I was sick. I was lonely. And I was in paradise, feeling sorry for myself.

Then I met Kate.

Good Things for Those Who Wait

Beth and Kate in Kerala.

While dining solo at one of the restaurants overlooking the water and sunset, I was seated next to a table of Americans, including Kate and her two traveling companions, both of whom were departing the next day. Kate and I immediately hit it off and became fast friends in the way that travelers do; we swapped travel tales, personal stories, and details of our India experiences.

We discovered that we were both departing in a few days’ time for the airport in Trivandrum (an hour away) and made plans to share a taxi. Over the coming days, our schedules jived. We ate breakfast and dinner together and spent most days doing our own thing. We shared tips on the best massage therapist in town and went for long walks into the nearby villages along the oceanfront.

Just when I had thought I reached my breaking point, questioning my own sanity and reasons for having traveled to honeymoon heaven by myself, I was sent a travel companion. It was as if Ganesh, the Remover of Obstacles, cleared the way for me to thoroughly enjoy the remainder of my travels.

I have had many obstacles placed in my way during my years of travel. Many were far worse than loneliness and a sinus infection, such as grenades and AK 47’s. But being sick and lonely are more common to most travelers than a weaponry arsenal.   

With travel experience there comes the confidence of knowing that even on your worst day things will get better. Whatever the obstacle that is placed before you, you will find an inner strength and self-assurance that you cannot possibly discover in the safety and security of your own backyard.

Along with your souvenirs, you bring back home an inner strength, and are forever changed in a very positive way.

Beth Whitman is the author of the Wanderlust and Lipstick guides for women travelers and runs tours to India through her company, WanderTours.